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Frequently Asked Questions


Q: Who is Katherine? (And why are you always talking about her?)

A: Katherine Woodward Thomas is my teacher and the creator of the modality that I coach. She is a New York Times bestselling author, MFT and global leader in the field of love, relational dynamics and identity work. I studied directly with her to learn this coaching modality and the frameworks she created. I quote her often as she originated the concepts (and wrote the books) that are the foundation of my coaching practice. Find out more about Katherine’s work at

Q: What does “certified” coach mean? Is it a real credential?

A: It’s true that coaching is still a fairly unregulated field and not all coaching certifications or credentials carry the same weight. My certification comes from two years of rigorous training directly with Katherine Woodward Thomas and her team of professional coaches. The program itself is graduate-level training. Certification is earned by extensive instruction and study, required participation, completing practicums, passing exams and submitting documentation for a review process. This is not an academic credential, however, many of the same processes and levels of rigor were required to achieve it.


Q: What is transformative coaching?

A: Transformative coaching (or ontological coaching) helps us make shifts on the level of who we are being and on the level of identity. In order to see the results we are desiring in life, we focus on who we are being in a given moment and what actions we can take to become the person we would need to be for the desired result to occur.

Q: Are coaching and therapy the same thing?

A: No, these are two different modalities. I am a certified transformative coach, I am NOT a trained or licensed psychotherapist or trauma specialist.

Q: I’m already in therapy, can I keep doing that while I see you?

A: Yes, absolutely, please do. Coaching is not a substitute for psychotherapy, and I am not a trained psychotherapist or trauma specialist. My intake documents explicitly ask you to inform your therapist that you are beginning a coaching program.

Q: What is the difference between coaching & therapy?

A: In the most basic technical terms: Transformative coaching is future focused while therapy is past focused. Transformative coaching is about focusing on the future and aligning your present self to that future goal to bring about change (who we want to be + what we need to shift to make that happen). Therapy is about understanding the past and how that impacted who you are today (why we are the way we are + how we got here).

Q: Is coaching or therapy better?

A: Both are incredibly helpful. They are totally different (and often complimentary) tools to help you get where you desire to go in life. However, if you have an unaddressed or acute trauma, it is better to address this with someone who is trained and licensed in that work prior to beginning coaching.

Q: Do I have to be in therapy while I see you?

A: No, you do not need to be in therapy to do a coaching program with me. However, if you need additional support outside of my areas of training, I will make appropriate recommendations to you.


Q: Do you only work with queer/LGBTQ+ clients?

A: I welcome clients of all orientations and expressions! Wherever you’re at in your journey, my practice is a safe place. And, it’s just fine if you don’t have it all figured out yet.

Q: What does “queer lens” mean?

A: I embrace Queer Theory, which means that I do not view any sexual orientation or gender expression as “abnormal” and any others as “normal”. Contrary to some myths: queer lens does not mean assuming everyone is queer. It simply means that you are not “normal” or “abnormal” for being either queer or hetero and one is not a “deviation” from the other.

Q: Can I work with you if I’m not queer/LGBTQ+?

A: Absolutely. I have lots of professional experience effectively working with clients who aren’t queer. And I have personal experiences from my own life before I came out that do allow me to relate to my non-queer clients.

Q: Why does a “queer lens” matter?

A: In the field of relationship work, there is often a base-assumption of heteronormativity, even amongst top experts. It’s often unnamed even in spaces where inclusion is priority. This can perpetuate active harm to individuals, couples and relational groups who do not have heteronormative dynamics. Especially when they are trying to relate to themselves and/or their relationship through the assumption of what should or should not be present, based on what they’ve been told by books, experts, and even anecdotally from friends or family. A “queer lens” is important is because it lets us start from a place of non-assumption about what may or may not be true for you as an individual in relation to yourself and in your relationships.

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